Humorous & Absurd Take on My Very Nasty Divorce. Life Only Gets Better!
Boy! Have They Missed a Lot!
Published on November 30, 2003 By Patty O In Home & Family
Things My Children Haven’t Done…Boy, Have They Missed a Lot!

1. In the middle of a warm summer night chased the dozen baby pigs the size of footballs that escaped from the pigpen. Piglets are hard to catch…not fur, no neck, no handles.
2. Swung across a rock strewn ravine on a grapevine deep in the Applachian mountains of Virginia. My hillbilly cousins thought it fun to scare their flatland cousin (me) to death.
3. Slept on Grandma’s feather bed under handmade quilts…Sun Bonnet Sue fashioned from a variety of old colorful feed sacks.
4. Milked Grandma’s cow.
5. Churned butter from unpasteurized milk in a wooden churn.
6. Caught crawdads in an ice cold creek all day long using Grandma’s lard bucket to hold them.
7. Rode Cousin Delmar’s plow mule from end of Convict Holler to the other at a furious pace without falling off, no thanks to that damned English saddle.
8. Walked with the cousins in the mountains on a cold, clear night listening to the crunch of frozen earth beneath our feet, just because we wanted something to do.
9. Slopped the hogs every morning before school & every evening after dinner.
10. Butchered venison, fried up the tenderloin & made biscuits from scratch for dinner.
11. Plucked chickens so we could have fried chicken on Sunday.
12. Drank moonshine from a mason jar straight from the moonshiner’s Mercury loaded with quarts & half-gallons of Christmas shine and brandy.
13. Experience “hog killin” time in the cold mornings of November & December.
14. Canned bushels of peaches, tomatoes, corn & greenbeans to feed the family through the winter.
15. Made jellies, jams and relishes from fresh summer fruits, then sit back appreciating the sight of all those jars listening to the seals pop.
16. Made their own clothes.
17. Create a hand-sewn quilt.
18. Crochet a doily.
19. Raised an herb garden.
20. Caught fish on a fly rod, cleaned them, fried them up with cornbread baked in an iron skillet.
21. Celebrated Christmas up in the Left-Hand Fork of Bull Creek.








Comments
on Nov 30, 2003
Wow, your kids have missed out on a lot of cool stuff. Come to think of it, none of my kids have done any of that either..

They have however beat Rainbow 6, Delta Force and Quake.
on Nov 30, 2003
Most people I know think I'm a hick because I HAVE done most of those things (I'm in my early 30s). My kids haven't done any of those either. They are only 7 and 3 though I don't plan to ever have them butcher or pluck. Those weren't among my fondest memories.

Kids now think they are roughing it if they go without TV and video games for any amount of time. I must admit, I am pretty partial to my creature comforts these days. I do miss the days of picking berries and making cobbler or picking a huge basket of morels and frying them up. Canning and making jerky are a far off memory now. Fishing and processing my Dad's deer are back there somewhere too. Now food is "home made" as long as you didn't order from carry out