Communication 101

For a number of weeks the group had become familiar, even chummy sharing personal stories applied to the course projects. The class clown/smart ass was standing again in front of his peers to deliver a message recommending an action that would inspire us all to accept whatever it was he chose to share with us. He was a funny guy, cocky and confident, young and attractive.

So, there he was, all six foot something of him, looking every bit the fresh, irreverent, all-American geeky guy ready to tickle our funny bone with his presentation which would be extraordinarily witty as usual. He started:

“I have a good job here. I have a degree. I have a good place to live and, I have manageable debt. I get a regular paycheck and I do all right. My girlfriend thinks so, too. She kisses me …and I wake up…”

He sighed deeply, stared at the wall looking over the heads of the audience, his lips and chin slightly quivered.

“I see couples walking, holding hands…I want that, too….”

His face distorted with real heartfelt anguish and unbelievable pain. The words were choking him…he could barely speak.

“No one should have to feel the way I do…”

He sat down and buried his head in his hands.

I was shocked beyond belief. Who knew his loneliness? He was the class clown! I could have gathered that kid up in my arms and comforted him the way his mother would have if she were there. But we were all professionals, very uncomfortable individuals who saw ourselves in him. Several guys patted him on the back and shoulder, but to acknowledge his discomfort would have only embarrassed the forlorn man-child.

The room was so very quiet. All of us were familiar with the “black dog,” that gut-wrenching loneliness.

As the class filed from the room, I approached the class clown and said,

“I have two daughters I’d like to introduce to you, but neither one of them is worthy.” He laughed.